Thursday, March 4, 2010

Renata on Renatua

Okay, this one came together perfectly in the way that only great art, er, blog posts can. Dr. Terry gave me a bag of Renatua candies. My co-worker right next to me, coincidentally, is named Renata. I know, I know, this post is gonna write itself.

Right then, this candy is supposedly, get this, "Aloe Yogurt" flavored. Aloe yogurt.

Judging from the really quite elegant package, the aloe part is contained in the green center. I mean, I guess it is.

True to form, the candies are cutely individually wrapped. Weird Japanese Snack #14 looks on with jealousy.

Okay, time to taste these aloe yogurt flavored candies. Below, my co-taster and guest reviewer, Renata. She had a diet Coke chaser on hand just in case they, uh, sucked. Sorry, puns are my weakness.

"Right off the bat I'm getting some high, grassy notes with maybe a slight, almost chocolatey finish." I said.
"No, I'm just trying to sound like some pretentious sommelier."
"Oh, I get it.." She rolled the candy around in her mouth for a moment, "I'm getting hints of rhubarb and wood."
"Now it's like a chorus of small, citrus angels with lemon zest harps....."
"It's like a cloud of elusive nectars chasing one another..." Renata opined.
"Maybe they're trying to find the aloe goddess at the center of their world..."
"Seriously, it is sort of a melon flavor," said Renata suddenly taking a rather stern tone.
"Now it's like a young maiden reflected in a dapple of light by a Venetian canal..." I went on.
"No seriously, it's kind of melon or maybe pear."
"All right. Yeah, melon and pear. It's good." At that my candy broke through to the aloe center. Renata, having suffered years of malnutrition throughout her entire life, has very soft teeth and had to continue to teethe away on her candy while I was able to begin describing its' aloey core goodness.
"The center is really good. It's gummy and bright and, I wouldn't say aloe, more grapefruit maybe. With a bit of mint or something..."
At this point Renata caught back up.
"Yeah, citrusy definitely. It's very good."
"I agree."
Dr. Terry then entered and chimed in, "I didn't really like it that much. I liked the shell but the inside was too flowery. You know? Like when they put too much hops in beer." We use alcohol analogies a lot in our office.
"Too pefumey." I offered.
"Yes. The outer shell was perfect though. Did you say yogurt?"


  1. Now that's a food review! Well Done!!!

  2. Thanks S! Comments are always appreciated, right Scot?

  3. Very funny! I would expect nothing less. My thoughts go to a certain Mr. Bento Box!!! I tried to make the weird Octopus hot dogs..ewwwww.